So while it’s true that I promised to write more often, I never said it was going to be good. Following is a collection of the weirdest links I’ve found online at work this week (because that’s where all my best Googling happens, duh).
- Want a gadget to annoy the shit out of you? I’ve got two! Are you too stupid to remember to stand up straight? iPosture’s got your slouchy ass covered. For a mere $99.95, this wonderfully inane tool’s nano-sensor detects when your angle deviates just three degrees from the optimal position for greater than a minute and emits a warning to straighten you out.
And for all you wannabe Al Gores on the go, behold the sleek and stylish solar tie, which both charges and conveniently carries, your cell phone. Ugh.
Douchebag sports a spiffy solar tie.
- Internship turned shitshow. Gawker recently told the tale of the “poopie intern.” Apparently a girl working at NBC in New York shit all over the famous 30 Rock studio on her FIRST DAY on the job. An insider recounts the horror:
“Said intern did in fact shit all over the 18th and 25th floors of 30 Rock. She did it in the hallway, on the floor, on a pile of FedEx boxes, on the way between floors… pretty much everywhere but the bathroom or (hey, sometimes you’re desperate) a garbage can. Or a cup. Or a napkin. Or in her hands. No, just streaking through the hallways. And then she took it into that room where she locked herself in and proceeded to wipe (sorry, I couldn’t come up with a better word) it on the walls, on the computer, on those same FedEx boxes. It was a shitshow (pun absolutely intended).”
This is the most disgusting thing I’ve heard in a while. But apparently the girl had just been in Isreal and blamed the pooping incident on some shady water. Who knows if it’s true, all I know is that I kind of feel for her. I mean, could you imagine a WORSE first day? And the chick went back for the rest of the internship. Now that’s chutzpah!
Franzia: The World
- Wino call to action. An Op-Ed contributor in the Sunday New York Times said that “wine in a box makes sense environmentally and economically.” Well what took everyone so long to realize?!
Herein lies the rub: Because most American wine is produced on the West Coast but consumed on the East Coast, CO2 emissions rack up transporting the vino. The facts:
“A standard wine bottle holds 750 milliliters of wine and generates about 5.2 pounds of carbon-dioxide emissions when it travels from a vineyard in California to a store in New York. A 3-liter box generates about half the emissions per 750 milliliters. Switching to wine in a box for the 97 percent of wines that are made to be consumed within a year would reduce greenhouse gas emissions by about two million tons, or the equivalent of retiring 400,000 cars.“
So readers, if you love America as much as I do, by God, go out, buy a box of wine and do your part to save the world while charging your cell phone in your tie. But please, remember not to slouch or shit all over the liquor store while you’re at it.
2 Comments
August 19, 2008 at 11:37 pm
[...] Original post by Less talk, more rock. [...]
September 23, 2008 at 10:27 pm
please write more. i miss it. love you bff.